This essay Week 5 Journal has a total of 373 words and 2 pages.
To say that talking about this is hard for me with people that I donít know. I normally donít talk about this with anyone that I donít know, and truly writing about these things in my life is very hard for me with a class that is online, where I donít know anyone. This is taking a lot of courage to write this for people to know.
My life was an uphill battle. When I was growing up I dated someone that beat me for years. This was just not physical, but also mental and emotional abuse. This was just the start of what happened to me. When my parents looked at me they always said I didnít do things that were good for me. As I got older I was traded by someone that I was dating for drugs and eventually raped by her drug dealer. This led me to end up being pregnant and having a child.
After all of this I have had many feelings of depression and sadness that made it so I did nothing with my life for a long time. I would everyday use these feelings to keep myself in my bed and hide from the world and do nothing with my days. As time went on I always used the fixed mindset that I was nothing and dirty, which led me to fall into a deeper depression and I would stop trying to get better because I thought there was no use.
As time went on I started using a growth mindset with the help of other people to change the way that I felt. This made it so I could do something with my days. I always had to say to myself that I am more than what happened to me, Iím a survivor. I can do anything and I have to be a mother to my child and that is what helped support my growth mindset. Every time that I started to fall back into the fixed mindset of depression and hopelessness I would use my self-talk and push myself to a growth mindset to keep moving on. This has been the hardest thing in my life, but I have pushed through.